Heaven & Hell Go Hand in Hand
by secretstumbles321
Summary: Ashley is 18, smart, beautiful, and has a secret: she's one of the most powerful angels in Heaven. Constantly fighting the battle between good vs. evil, she is tempted deeply. But what happens when she loses her faith? What happens when an angel gives in?
1. Chapter 1

Heaven & Hell Go Hand in Hand like Fingernails on a Chalkboard

Chapter 1

The car drove up the hill swiftly and diligently, not wasting a single minute. We had been driving for hours and were almost where we finally needed to be. The car reeked of cigarettes and a faint scent of air freshener, hinting towards the fact that the small car rental company knew exactly how to cover something up.

I rolled my eyes. _People will do anything for money._

The car was a Jeep Wrangler, strong and fierce, and it faced any obstacle head on without a bit of hesitation. I had always wanted one of my own but never got the chance. The car then stopped at a huge country hotel, looking homey and comfortable in every way possible. I grabbed my bag and hopped out of the car.

"Well, we're finally here sis!" My brother said to me in a cheerful voice.

I laughed. "Yeah, I can't wait. This place looks so entertaining." I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You have to give it a chance. " He said with a smile.

I rolled my eyes again. "Oh please."

He then made his way over to me in two long strides and grabbed me gently by the arms.

"You know if there really is nothing to do here, we could always make our own fun." He said with a flirty wink.

I pushed him away.

"How dare you hit on your own sister?"

"What can I say; you're not too bad on the eyes."

I playfully punched him on the arm. "Shutup you perv!"

His face cracked into a grin and he then began to laugh.

I sighed. "I have no idea why I put up with you."

He made his way over to me and grabbed me by the arms again.

"Come on Ash, you know I was just kidding."

I smiled at him. "I know Ian; I just love to bother you."

Ian and I weren't blood related. We called each other brother and sister because of everything we had been through together, which made us extremely close. Scientifically speaking, we were only a hormone raging male and female that shared a very close bond, communicated daily, and even provided the same function to the surrounding environment. Ian and I worked at the same place, and had a very special job. We were nowhere near what people called "normal".

I could still remember the first time I saw Ian.

"Well what am I supposed to do here? File documents and memorize codes? Because if you think that's what I'm going to do then you can all go fu-"I stopped midsentence, interrupted by the sound of a door opening.

I turned around to see who had interrupted me and give them a mouthful, but was cut short by the sight of a tall, gorgeous guy walk through the door. He walked easily, and heavy footed without a care in the world. And it wasn't until he was a few seconds from being right in front of me, did I realize that he was walking towards me.

"Hi there, I'm Ian. It's a pleasure to finally meet you." He said as he waited for me to put my hand out first, for a formal hand shake.

My jaw had just about hit the floor and it wasn't until someone had cleared there throat that I was able to function correctly again.

"What?...oh sorry. I kind of spaced out there. I'm Ashley." I said as I put my hand out and shyly smiled.

He laughed and shook my hand.

_His hands are so soft! And look at his eyes! They're green and gorgeous!_

"Well like I said before, it's definitely a pleasure to meet you, and might I add, no one told me you were so gorgeous." He said with the most adorable smile I had ever seen.

_Did he just say what I think he said?_

I could feel my face become warm but tried to cover it up. "Thank you…?"

"Earth to ASHLEY! Is anyone home?" Ian waved his hands in my face, trying to get my attention.

"Stop screaming in my fucking face Ian! God, I spaced out a bit! Is that a crime all of a sudden?"

He scoffed and mumbled under his breath. I couldn't clearly hear what he said but I did catch a few phrases of, 'Someone must be PMSing again.'

_Looks like I'm gonna have to say sorry…wait did he just say I'm PMSing?_

I sighed and swallowed down the urge to yell at him for his comment from before.

"Hey I'm sorry. I'm just tired." I said as I gave him a hug.

"It's okay, and you're right, I'm feeling worn out too. I'll grab the bags and you take my pack." He said as he motioned towards his backpack.

"Okey dokes." I smiled at him.

"You ready for this one?" He asked referring to the mission we had to complete here while he grabbed out luggage.

"Yup. I'm sure we can handle it. We've seen just about everything together."

He laughed.

"You're right, we have. Now come on lets go."

And as we began the short walk to the hotel's entrance, I couldn't help but feel a small churn in my stomach, telling me that this mission would be nowhere close to the others.


	2. Chapter 2

Heaven & Hell Go Hand in Hand like Fingernails on a Chalkboard

Chapter 2

As we walked into the hotel's small lobby, I couldn't help but notice the furniture. Everything had a country feel to it with a hint of an original formality style. There were plenty shades of soft yellows and warm browns, of greens and blues, but the best part was the way the furniture screamed 'Sit on me, I'm amazingly comfortable!' And so I did. It wasn't until a few minutes later that a small, older woman walked in.

"Howdy there! You two must be our new guests! Welcome to Sweet Country Inn!" The small, yet spunky, woman said in a voice a bit too cherry to tolerate.

I stood up from the comfortable chair and tried to keep my mouth shut and not say anything insulting.

_Could this lady be any more annoying?_

"Hello, I'm Ian and this is my sister Ashley. We have a reservation here, and might I add, we're both extremely excited to be staying in such a lovely place!" Ian said as he waited for the southern gal to extend her hand first for a friendly hand shake.

Ian had always been respectful, especially towards women. He had been taught when meeting a woman for the first time to wait for her to put her hand out first. This showed a great deal of respect towards the new lady, and Ian never failed to remember that.

"Why aint that great! Brother and sister on vacation. Oh silly me, where are my manners? My name is Bessie, and I keep this little place in tip top shape. Now what was your sister's name again?"

"Ashley. It's Ashley." I said without a bit of hesitation. I locked my gaze onto hers, making sure she wouldn't forget this time.

_How the hell do you forget a name so quickly? Its only one of the most common female names around…_

"O…Oh Ashley…I'm sorry. My head's in the clouds today, but I'm su…sure I won't forget now." She said nervously as she tried to give me a small, reassuring smile.

I genuinely smiled back.

"Well you two can just follow me and we'll get everything figured out." She said as she walked us out of the lobby and through a series of hallways.

Ian and I walked behind her but only to the point where she was still in our vision, nothing more, and nothing less. It was easier to have a conversation this way.

"Do you have to be so mean?" Ian said with a disapproving look on his face.

"I wasn't being mean! I was just making sure she remembered my name this time!"

"Shhh! Stop screaming! And you were too, shes such a nice lady, but no, you have to go and be a bitch." He said with a smirk on his face, knowing this would get me angry.

_How dare he!_

"A bitch? Who are you calling a bit-"

"Okay, you two can just follow me into this room right here." Bessie said as she led us into a small office.

Ian nodded and followed her.

"Come on sis." He whispered into my ear with a mocking smile.

"I'm gonna wipe that stupid smile off your face in about two second-"I tried to whisper back but was once again cut off by someone.

"Okay ya'll I need your names, credit cards, and the rest of the shebang." Bessie said with a smile.

Ian smiled back and made his way towards the desk she was standing behind and gave her our fake information. I sat on a chair and took in the room.

It was too small for Bessie and everything she needed. Or maybe it was just because the room was a complete disaster. There were papers everywhere and folders, filing cabinets were opened and disorganized, and she had office supplies lying all over the room.

_Wow she could really use some help cleaning this place up…won't be me though._

After another few minutes Ian and Bessie were finally done sorting things out.

"Okay ya'll can just follow me on up to your room and then rest. From what your brother here told me, you've come from a sure faraway place."

I rolled my eyes, wondering how much longer I could handle this southern gal and her strange ways before I went crazy and strangled the country right out of her.

She led us up a flight of stairs and to our room. She gave Ian the keys and smiled. Her eyes met mine and she looked down nervously, still a bit shaken by me.

_Good._ I thought with a smirk.

The room had two queen sized beds, lavished with decorative pillows and beautiful colors. The room was a nice size and had a good sized bathroom in it with an up to date shower and jacuzzi. The best part though, was the view. The room had two beautiful windows that were commonly found around the hotel, and our windows overlooked a gorgeous lake that was surrounded by tall, graceful trees and stunning flower bushes.

"I call the bed by the windows!" I screamed as I jumped onto my extremely tempting bed. I smiled at Ian.

"Hey love, call Gabe. He'll probably want to know whats up." Ian said as he grabbed some clothes and headed for the shower.

Ian had many nicknames for me, and one he used the most was "love". I didn't mind though. I actually thought it was sweet, and I of course, had my own names for him, which wasn't always a good thing.

I grabbed my messenger bag and pulled out my phone. I pressed the number 2 on it and listened to the phone as it rung, waiting for Gabe to pick up.

Gabe was our mentor. He had taught us all we knew and was there for us for anything we needed. He was much older than us, and so Ian and I thought of him as our uncle. Gabe also made sure that we were actually doing our job and constantly wanted updates.

"Hey Gabe! We're finally here and in our room. And might I add, I'd like to thank you a billion and three times for the room. It has an amazing view." I said like the little kid I was inside.

"Wait what was that?...oh ok…yeah no problem. Don't worry I will…and yeah I'll tell him. Oh you are?...ok then… love you too bye!" I shut the phone and placed it on the nightstand that sat next to my bed.

Ian walked out of the bathroom shirtless with only his PJ pants on.

"Love, what did Gabe say?"

"He said that we should start getting busy soon and to be cautious, and that this guy we're looking for is tricky. Oh and he sends you his love and that he'd call us again sometime soon."

"Love you too Gabe. And I'm gonna hit the sack. Night Ash." He said as he gave me a goodnight kiss on the cheek.

I smiled at him and made my way to the shower with my own PJs. I turned the shower on and stepped in, enjoying the warmth and tension freeing water. I sighed at the thought of not being on an actual vacation, but looked forward to tomorrow, the day we'd finally get back to some much needed work.


	3. Chapter 3

Heaven & Hell Go Hand in Hand like Fingernails on a Chalkboard

Chapter 3

"Rise and shine love!" Ian said as he ran over to my bed and began to tickle me, all while I was still asleep.

I groaned. "Noooo! It's too early!" I yelled as I looked towards the alarm clock that lay on the small side drawer next to my bed.

"Ian, its only 7 in the fucking morning!"

_I'm so not a morning person!_

"I don't care! Get up and shower. We have to get a head start today." He said as he attempted to put an innocent smile on his face.

"Ugh, fine." I said as I got out of the bed, grabbed some clothes, and made my way to the shower.

I turned the shower knob toward the colder temperatures and got in. A few minutes later I was out of the shower, dressed, and had just about finished my makeup.

"There." I said to myself with a smile and as I finished the last touches of mascara to my eyelashes. Living with an impatient guy for the last three years taught me just how fast I could get ready. I decided to put my makeup away but made the fatal mistake of catching a glimpse of my eyes in the mirror.

_Damnit not now!_

I grabbed the sink for fear of falling, heard my makeup bag crash onto the floor, and decided it best to shut my eyes. The memory came quickly.

_I woke up startled and afraid. I couldn't remember much, only the fact that I had left my house in a bad mood, because of a fight with my mother and walked…somewhere._

Where did I go? A friend's house? A party?

_I pressed my hand to my head, feeling a headache come on, and shut my eyes because of the massive amount of pain it gave me. After a few minutes I could hear people talking in the distance. I knew one of the voices, but couldn't exactly pinpoint who it belonged to._

Who's talking?

_I opened my eyes hoping that would help with the headache. I scanned the room. It reminded me of a hospital, almost all white, except it didn't have tons of fancy technology you normally find in them. The walls were a soothing light blue color and reminded me of the sky. _

Where am I?

_I suddenly realized that I had bandages wrapped around parts of my body and had an arm cast on my left arm and a leg cast on my right leg. I tried to shift my body over to get a better view but felt a sharp stab in my back. I yelped while also muttering a few appropriate curse words here and there. I then heard footsteps making their way the door and sucked in my breath._

_The door opened and a tall, older looking man walked in. He had black hair that was beginning to gray and soothing blue eyes. He looked to be about in his 40s. The tall blue eyed man made his way over to me and smiled._

"_Hello there Ashley." The stranger said in a deep, gentle voice._

_I had to squint when I looked at him because the light behind him was so bright and intense. I then realized that his voice was the one I had recognized earlier._

"_Who are you?" I asked him and thought my voice sounded a bit different._

"_I am Gabriel, but you can call me Gabe." His beautiful smile was back again._

_I nodded, still squinting, and feeling as if I simply couldn't talk anymore. My voice felt weak and raspy._

"_We are very happy to see how well you've healed up, and are looking forward to making you feel better."_

"_We?" I croaked out._

_He nodded. "There are many people that will and want to help you, but your two main "doctors" are myself and Linda." He said with a chuckle after air quoting "doctors"._

_And as he said this a small and pudgy woman walked in, beautifully and gracefully._

"_Hello darling, I am Linda." She said with a small smile._

"_I am sorry to say that I have to go handle some other business, but until I finish, Linda will take care of you." He said with a small smile._

_I nodded again._

"_Be good." He said as he walked out the door he had once come through._

"_Well how about we take these bandages off sweetie." Linda said as she helped me sit up and began to take the bandage off my hand._

_I smiled at her, already liking her. After a few minutes all the bandages and casts were off and I could feel my whole body again. There was only one bandage left on, and that was the one towards the area of the stabbing feeling I had felt earlier._

_Linda led me to a shower, gave me some clothes and a toothbrush, and told me that if I needed anything to just holler. I took a long shower, loving the feeling of the water on my face._

_I then got out, put my clothes on quickly, and brushed my teeth. It wasn't until I was completely dry did I look in the mirror._

_I gasped and dropped the toothbrush and toothpaste I had just been using, two minutes ago, on the floor._

_I stared at my reflection, horrified. I hardly recognized the person that stared back at me. The girl had the same mouth and nose as before, the same facial features, but her eyes were different._

_I realized that this girl was me, and I no longer had the deep dark brown eyes I had come to memorize and love. _

_No. I now had dark gray ones filled with rage and bafflement. _


	4. Chapter 4

Heaven & Hell Go Hand in Hand like Fingernails on a Chalkboard

Chapter 4

The memory ended and I could feel myself slowly going back to normal. I could feel the same stabbing feeling I had felt three years ago fade away slower then everything else. This I could thank to the asshole that had felt the need to choose me as his next slaughter victim three years ago.

_Shit, that actually hurt._

I tried to catch my breath little by little, convincing myself that this was what I now had to constantly go through because of my untimely experience with death.

"Ash, did you accidently drown yourself again?" Ian yelled as he made his way toward the bathroom door and opened it.

"Excuse you! For all you know I could have been naked!" I said having caught my breath again.

"Whats wrong?" He asked me worriedly, as he strode toward, ignoring the fact I had just threw at his face.

"No-nothing… I just remembered something." I stuttered.

I always became a little nervous whenever Ian became concerned about me. I never knew why, I just did.

"Jesus Christ, have you seen your face? You're pale as a ghost and your knuckles look like they're about to fucking shatter."

At the mention of my knuckles I let go of the sink stiffly. I tried to move my fingers to get some circulation back in them.

"I'm fine. Can we just go?" I said as I pushed him out of the way and walked towards the bedroom door.

"No, not so fast." He said as he ran over to me and grabbed my face in his gentle hands.

I sighed.

"You sure you ok?" He asked me as he looked me straight in the eyes. Ian knew I couldn't find my way out of answering a question or lying to him this way and I hated it.

"…Look we'll talk about it later okay?"

"…Fine." He said as he let go of my face and opened the door all in one motion.

I followed him down the stairs and to the inn's magnificent kitchen. There was a guy already behind the counter making breakfast although it was only 7:15 in the morning. Ian went to go chat with the cook while I made my way to one of the small tables that stood right by the view of the lake. I zoned out and before I knew it, everything had become hushed and silent to me.

The silence was something I hated with a passion. It was something that had become an enemy of mine after my death and was one of the few things that could tear me apart. It always brought too many questions and concerns. It always brought back too many memories and regret.

_If I hadn't left the house that night, would things be different? They probably would but then I would have never met Ian, and Ian is like a brother to me, and without him I can barely think straight. But if I had just helped mom with Ally then maybe she'd still be living at home with our mom and her dad, but who am I kidding, I couldn't have saved the relationship between my mom and her husband. It was doomed from th-_

"Wake up Ashley." Ian said in a concerned yet imposing tone from the chair that sat across from me.

"You never call me by my full name…"

"I only did it to wake you up from La La Land." He said with a small smile.

I hesitated. "Sorry I just can't be left alone or I'll take a vacation there." I said with a shaky chuckle.

Ian's brow furrowed as he took my hand in his and leaned a bit over the table.

"Love, what's wrong?"

I sighed again and decided to explain to him what I was feeling.

"I was in the bathroom getting ready and I caught sight of my eyes in the mirror, and you know how much I hate actually "looking" into them. So anyway the memory of when I first met Gabe and Linda came back to me and my scar still hadn't completely healed up."

Ian nodded, encouraging me to go on.

"Anyway I remembered the way it felt after the "accident" had first happened, and it made me think." I said as I looked down somewhat ashamed.

"About?"

"The same crap that always goes through my head. Like if I hadn't fought with my mom that night or if I hadn't gone to the park after fighting with her. Or maybe even the fact that I didn't help with Ally or-" Ian cut me off.

"Love, you can't blame yourself. It's not your fault this happened to you; it was that sick bastard's fault. And besides remember what Gabe said; the gift was either in you or wasn't. That bastard just happened to trigger it before it was actually supposed to happen." He said tenderly. I could tell he was being honest because that beautiful tenderness I loved about him reached his eyes.

I nodded with a small smile.

"You're right."

"Damn right I am. And besides, think about it, if you hadn't come along I would have never met you and Heaven would be missing out on the second hottest angel around." He said with a goofy grin.

"Second hottest?"

"I'm the first, duh!" He said with a laugh.

I laughed right along with him. Feeling better and grateful for having the "hottest angel in Heaven", sit right across from me.


	5. Chapter 5

Heaven & Hell Go Hand in Hand like Fingernails on a Chalkboard

Chapter 5

The ground crunched underneath our feet as we made our way to the Jeep. It was a short walk, but it was filled with tons of brutal branches and irritating leaves. We had finished our breakfast and then decided to start investigating on our newest mission.

"Can I drive?" I asked Ian, with my best puppy dog face.

_Please, please, please, please!_

"Of course you can't."

_You suck. _

"Why do I like you again?"

Ian chuckled at my question as he swiftly made his way into the driver's seat.

I sighed and buckled my seatbelt, upset that I had yet to drive the car once.

"Okay, so what are we looking for?" Ian asked from the driver's seat.

"The usual, crazy bastards that have nothing better to do but start a mass killing frenzy."

Ian turned his head and glared at me.

"You want to stop being such a smart ass?"

"You want to let me drive?" I said with my best winning smirk.

Ian gave a frustrated sigh.

"You'll drive us back to the inn. Happy now?"

"Eh it'll have to do."

He sighed again.

_I wish annoying Ian could be my full time job._

"If you don't tell me what the hell we're supposed to be looking for in five seconds, so help me God, I'm going to wipe that stupid little smirk off your face without even having to touch you." He said aggressively.

"Oooh mamma like feisty." I said with a wink and a flirty smile.

Ian slammed on the brakes, put the car in park, and turned his full attention towards me.

He breathed in heavily, trying his best not to strangle me right then and there, while I tried my best to not laugh in his face.

"Ash…"

"Ugh fine. We're looking for a person, specifically a male. There have been signs of homicide but none of the evidence collected has led cops to the bodies. There are supposedly two people dead and one missing. Gabe thinks it's a powerful demon that's bloodthirsty and pitiless. That enough info for you sunshine?"

Ian hated when I called him sunshine, but annoying Ian was a hobby of mine, so I did it anyway.

"Thanks Love. Maybe now we can actually get somewhere." He said as he put the car into drive and we drove off.

A few minutes later we arrived at the area where most of the evidence collected had been found. Ian parked the car and we both hopped out.

"I'll meet you back here in 10 minutes." Ian said as he made his way to the left and I made my way to the right of the woods.

This was a normal routine for us, and this was what we had grown accustomed to. Ian and I had been working together for almost 4 years now, but the job never got old to us. We rid the world of extremely evil spirits, specifically demons, because after all that is what angels do. I remembered the time I was told what I was.

"_Linda, what the hell happened to me?" I screamed as I tore my gaze away from the mirror._

"_Honey that's normal." She said in a calm, soothing voice._

_It had just dawned on me that I had no idea where I was or what had happened to me after having a heated argument with my mother._

"_What do you mean it's normal? My eyes have been brown for 1 5 years, and now all of a sudden they're gray! Where am I? What am I doing here? What happened to me after-"_

"_Honey calm down! Now just sit down and I'll explain everything to you." _

_I tried to calm my breathing and did as I was told._

"_Now what do you remember?" She asked me in a worried yet hopeful tone._

"…_I had an argument with my mom and then stormed out of the house. I then went…I don't remember where."_

_Linda nodded understandingly._

"_Try to remember. Please."_

"_I went…to the park to try and cool off. I was walking in… the woods when… I heard a noise?"_

_She nodded again. "Go ahead, continue sweetie."_

"_I heard someone behind me and ran…the person then ran after me…I…I can't remember anything else." I looked down ashamed._

_Linda closed her eyes, as if she were about to receive a massive headache._

"_Sweetie, that someone was a man, and he killed you in the stream that was nearby."_

What the hell is this lady talking about! I'm obviously not dead…right?

"_What do you mean he killed me? I'm standing right in front of you!"_

"_He _almost_ killed you."_

"…_What…"_

_I could feel the memory coming back. The scratches and bruises. The hurtful words. The stab to my back with the sharp, twisted knife. The way he left me in the stream carelessly, and ready for Death's embrace._

_My hands fled up to my mouth as I remembered everything that had happened that night, and tears slid down my face. It had become too hard to form words. _

"_You're standing here, right in front of me, because you were blessed. God chose you to be one of his messengers, one of his helpers. It was chosen way before you were born and there's no undoing of it. You are now considered to be the Guardian of Sorrow."_

_My eyes snapped up to her face, terrified yet infuriated._

"_Listen lady, you have to let me go home. My mom's probably worried sick about me and I have to make sure-"Linda's sweet, comforting voice disappeared, and with it, a comforting yet commanding tone was replaced._

"_Listen to me Ashley! You can't go back!"_

"_Why not?"_

"_Because, everyone thinks you're dead!"_


	6. Chapter 6

Heaven & Hell Go Hand in Hand like Fingernails on a Chalkboard

Chapter 6

Linda's words rang through my ears as I tried to find something that would lead us in the right direction.

'_Because, everyone thinks you're dead!'..._

I scoffed at the irony. If you had asked me what my plans were for the future three years ago, I know for sure they wouldn't come close to what I was doing now: hunting for demons and bringing hope to all those around me.

_If anything, I'm the one that needs the encouragement and hope right now._

I sighed, deciding I should really try to find something before Ian comes back from his investigating.

As I walked, the ground seemed to cover up everything and any hope of finding something. I made my way to a swampy area, cautious to the fact of the crocodiles that lurked about. The grass became thick and tall, and covered with huge trees, a perfect place to hide a dead body. I was just about to turn around and search somewhere else, when a small gleam caught my eye.

_What the hell…?_

I carefully made my way toward the small gleam, hopeful that this could lead me somewhere useful. The tiny clue led me to a dark cave filled with the thick, tall grass that surrounded the swamp. I tried to follow the gleam as best as I could in the now dark cave. Now only a few feet away from the shiny piece of evidence, I checked my surroundings, before crouching down toward the evidence.

Although covered in grass and dirt, I could tell the necklace was beautiful. It was white gold and showed stunning craftsmanship. The necklace had a name plate full of small diamonds on specific letters.

_Maggie…that was the name of the missing girl from a few months back…_

I become startled, realizing that I may have just found the piece of evidence that could solve everything.

I then remember that I had a necklace just like this one when I was 15. It was stunning, and gave me a sense of pride every time I looked at it.

_I was also wearing it the last day I was considered to be fully alive and breathing._

I gasped at the discovery, and wondered where the hell that necklace could now be.

_I wonder if I had it on the night of my murder…_

As I tried to rack my brain for answers, memories came flashing back of the man that had just about killed me three years ago. The crunch of his feet against the ground, the angry growl of his annoyance, the feeling of his hot, rough skin, and worst of all, the sound of his voice. I cringed as the memory of his hands touching my neck came back.

"_Get back over here you little bitch!" He screamed as I pushed myself to move faster._

_My lungs were begging me to stop, to stop just for a minute for some air, but I knew I couldn't. I knew I had to keep running, because if I didn't, I'd be dead in five seconds flat._

_The ground started to become blurry and disoriented, a clear sign from my body that I couldn't possibly go on for much longer. _

No, no, no! I have to keep going!

_I tripped over a stump, I had been sure was to my left, but was actually right in front of me. I heaved in air, crouched on all fours. _

Breathe in, breathe out.

_I did my best to get some air in my lungs and get back up, but I couldn't. My body was exhausted and couldn't function correctly. _

Come on! I have to get back up! Stupid body let me get back up!

_I then realized I hadn't heard the crunch of running feet on ground for a while, and prayed that he had given up. I began to get hopeful, and think that maybe, just maybe, I'd be able to see my sister one more time later on. I felt my body somewhat recuperate and tried to stand up. It wasn't until I was leaning against a tree, did I hear the sound of heavy feet crunch over leaves again. _

_I froze._

Shit! He won't give up!

_I snapped myself out of a daze and decided that now was the best time to start running again. As I pushed myself off the tree, his hand grabbed my neck._

"_Noooo! Let go of me!" I screamed as I bit his hand._

"_Filthy bitch!" His hand went flying off my neck as he tried to put pressure on his bleeding hand, but as he did this, he grabbed onto my necklace, pulling it with him as I ran away._

My hand absent mindedly touched my neck, hoping to feel the necklace again. I was so concentrated on that I didn't hear Ian come into the small, damp cave.

"Did you find anything?" Ian asked.

I froze once again. Pale faced, I turned my head towards Ian, and for the quickest second, saw the face of the man that haunted me daily.


	7. Chapter 7

Heaven & Hell Go Hand in Hand like Fingernails on a Chalkboard

Chapter 7

The car ride was filled with silence, awkward, tension-filled silence. Although Ian had said I could drive us back to the inn, I decided it best he be the one that did the driving. I was still shaken from the memory that I remembered a few minutes ago, and felt sick to my stomach. I had no idea why I was acting this way, but thought and felt that perhaps, something important was coming up.

_What could it be? Not my birthday, not a holiday…_

I stared out the window as my head pounded furiously. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the window. It was raining outside. This would normally put me in a good mood, but today just wasn't a very good day.

Ian parked the car into the inn's parking lot, and turned off the car's ignition. With the ignition off, I could clearly hear the rain slapping itself over the car.

Ian unbuckled his seat belt, turned his body towards me, and made no indication to get out. He sighed.

"What the hell was that all about?" He said in a worried, yet determined tone of voice.

I kept my eyes shut, wishing that this damn headache would ago and did my best to ignore Ian.

_Please go away, I can't deal with this right now!_

"Ash, I'm not talking to the damn wall."

My head continued to pound. I sighed frustratingly.

"Ashley!" He had become annoyed and I didn't have to look at him to notice.

"Damnit Ian, stop screaming I'm right here! You have no idea how bad my head is throbbing against my skull, so I'm sorry if I don't feel like answering you right away, when the only thing I want to do is bash my head against a wall to see if the pain will go away!" I said all in one breath, which caused my head to only hurt more.

I moaned sickly.

"Look love, I'm sorry. I'm just worried. Back at the swamp I could tell you remembered something. And when I asked you if you had found anything, the way you looked at me made me feel…"

"Made you feel what?"

"…Horrible. As if you had just found out I kill a dozen puppies every night for fun." He said with a small smile.

I smiled.

"I highly doubt Ian Reynolds would be capable of such a thing." I said jokingly, hoping to lighten up the mood.

He laughed. "Well you never know…" He said with a playful smirk.

I laughed, feeling a bit better.

He smiled again. "But really, what-"

I cut him off. "I found this." I said as I handed him the necklace that had a name plate in the form of the name 'Maggie' on it.

Ian took it and inspected it. "Maggie was the girl they were never able to find…"

I nodded. "If you look closely, you can see some blood on it. Hopefully, some of it will belong to the demon's host."

Ian put the necklace in one of the plastic bags we used for evidence that we uncovered.

"How did it make you remember you-"

I sighed again. "I had one like it when I was 15. It had my name on it and I wore it all the time. My uncle, had given it to me, and I thought of it as one of my prized possessions. When I saw Maggie's I tried to remember the last time I had worn mine, but I then realized that my killer had ripped it off my neck…"

"…And then what?"

"I had been so into my memory that I didn't hear you coming, and when you called my name, and I turned around…I saw…"

Ian inched his way closer to me and brushed a strand of hair away from my face.

"Love, what did you see?"

"I saw his face Ian...I saw his stupid fucking face again, and it was horrible! It all felt so…real. What I don't get is why! Why now! All of a sudden I keep remembering these things and I just don't know what to do."

Ian sighed but pulled me in for a hug.

"Love, for once I don't even know what to say. Maybe… maybe you're still connected to him. Gabe did tell you that the connection you get with your killer doesn't always fade away quickly."

I sighed, forbidding myself to shed a tear although they threatened to come.

_Go away stupid tears! You're not going to escape!_

Crying had always made me feel weak, especially after my killing. And right about now, crying was all I wanted to do, but I urged myself not to. I urged myself to not become soft and pathetic.

"You're probably right. Thank you sunshine." I said with a small smile, feeling somewhat better.

Ian pulled away from our hug.

"Now let's get inside and tell Gabe what we found."

"Hey Gabe! You won't believe what we found…"

Ian's voice droned on in the background as I took a shower before bed. I had left the bathroom door a bit open, just in case Ian had to tell me anything important.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped myself in one of the large, warm towels the inn supplied. I quickly put on my pjs, combed my hair, and made my way to the sink. I grabbed my toothbrush and some toothpaste and decided it best to brush my teeth before bed.

Ian still talked on the phone, obviously being told something important by Gabe. I chuckled as I rinsed out my mouth with water, knowing that if it was up to him, Ian would stay on the phone for hours talking about absolutely nothing.

"…How long has it been now…three years? Really?"

I stopped at Ian's choice of words and gasped as I realized why I had been feeling so weird lately.

An important event was coming up very soon.

Three years ago I had been your normal teenage girl.

Three years ago I angrily walked out of my house after a fight with my mom.

Three years ago I decided to walk into the woods to cool off from the fight.

Three years ago I had been stabbed over and over again until just about every single breath was taken out of me.

Three years ago I had died.


	8. Chapter 8

Heaven & Hell Go Hand in Hand like Fingernails on a Chalkboard

Chapter 8

The warm, pleasant sun snuck its way to shining on my back. It was warm outside, so the sun didn't make me uncomfortable, and also felt very comforting on my shoulders. Ian had decided that we should relax by the lake for a while since we had been working so diligently on our newest mission.

The sun was setting and it casted a beautiful reflection on the dark, clean water of the lake. The sunset was mixture of beautiful colors: light pinks, and yellows, with wakeful hints of blues and purples.

Ian grabbed a large, thin blanket out of his bag and laid it on the ground close enough for us to be in some shade but not enough to get cold. I made my way towards the blanket, lay down on my stomach, and rested my head on my arms, tired from all the work we had done today. Ian did the same and looked me in the eyes.

Most people would find this romantic, but when Ian did things like this, I never did. We just weren't interested in each other that way. We had always considered each other to be each other's long lost sister or brother. Of course it didn't hurt that I got to constantly stare at a gorgeous face every day, and he claimed the same. But I always rolled my eyes at him and told him he was crazy, while he only laughed.

"Guess what?" Ian asked me playfully, like the little kid he was inside.

I rolled my eyes but chuckled.

"What Ian?"

"I brought you your favorite thing in the entire world!" Ian yelled excitedly as he ran to his backpack.

I smiled. "I wonder what that could possibly be…"

With that, Ian took a plastic container out of his backpack and made his way back over to me.

_What the hell could possibly be in that thing?_

"Surprise!" Ian screamed as he opened the lid and showed me what was inside.

My jaw dropped open and a gasp escaped my mouth as I saw what was inside.

"You got me fried Oreos! I haven't seen these in years!" I said excitedly as I grabbed one out of the container and shoved it in my mouth.

Ian smiled.

"See, I knew you would like it." He said as he sat cross legged on the blanket and grabbed one himself.

I smiled again. "Thank you sunshine!"

"Ugh, do you have to call me that!"

"Yes I do! And you know you love it so stop complaining!" I said as I playfully punched his arm.

He chuckled.

"Well, I didn't only bring you here to eat fried Oreos..."

I stopped eating and looked at him seriously. "What?" I asked him worriedly.

He sighed. "I have to leave soon. Gabe wants me to go down to Headquarters and get as much information as possible on this demon we're hunting."

My eyes widened. "By yourself?"

He nodded. "Gabe thinks it'd be more efficient if I go get the info while you stay here just in case any more clues pop up."

I sighed. I hated whenever Ian left. I would always get really lonely, especially since I didn't like to talk to people that I didn't know. It wasn't because I was shy; it was just because I was hesitant when it came to trusting people. Not to mention I also became bored out of my mind without him.

"How long will you be gone?" I asked him, already hating the idea of him leaving.

"It all depends on how everything goes, but Gabe thinks I'll only be gone for a few days. Max is a week."

I sighed again. "When do you leave?"

Ian looked down to the ground sadly. "In an hour…"

Ian embraced me into a tight hug with both of his bags next to him and by the waiting car.

"I'll miss you Love."

"You better."

He laughed. "Don't worry I will."

He tried to pull out from the hug but I held on. I couldn't help but remember the day my real brother had left for the war, and the way he had to pry me off in order to leave. After another minute I finally let go.

I smiled at him.

"You be good." He said as he took his bags and threw them in the car.

I chuckled. "You know I can't promise that."

He smiled, and with a final hug and kiss on the cheek, he was gone.

I walked back to the place we had just been a few hours ago. After Ian told me he was leaving in an hour, and after I screamed and yelled at him for giving me such a short notice, we had cleaned up and gone back to the inn.

I sat on the ground and watched as the sun sunk deeper and deeper, making everything darker.

I sighed, already feeling lonely and bored.

Suddenly, I heard a rustle from the trees to my right. I quickly got up and prepared myself to fight whatever was coming out of the bushes.

_This is why I hate being alone in wooded areas._

After a few minutes of waiting I decided to walk over to the area.

_Nothing here._

I shrugged and decided it best to move ahead and make sure there wasn't an animal ready to spring and leap into action. I was so absorbed in looking for an animal, that I didn't see the man walking in my direction.

I bumped into him and landed on my butt.

_Ow, that kind of hurt!_

The man became startled and looked in my direction. He put out his hand, just in case I needed help getting up.

I grabbed it and realized that this man couldn't be much older than me.

_He can't be a day older than 23…and wow, I didn't realize how cute he was!_

"Hello there beautiful. What might your name be?" He said with a seductive smirk.

"A…Ashley." I stammered as I got a good look at him.

He smiled. "Hello Ashley. I'm Kyle." He said as he put out his hand for a formal handshake.

I shook his hand and gave him a small smile.

"Might I ask where you're going on this lovely night?"

"Nowhere in particular."

He smiled again. "Well not wanting to seem hasty, but I was wondering if a beautiful girl like you would care to join me tonight."

_He sure knows how to charm a girl._

"Of course I would." I said with a warm, genuine smile.

Of course I didn't take into consideration the fact that I had met this strange man in the woods, alone, and unprotected. I didn't consider I had met a killer and the demon Ian and I had been looking for weeks.

And I definitely hadn't considered I had just met my demise.


	9. Chapter 9

Heaven & Hell Go Hand in Hand like Fingernails on a Chalkboard

Chapter 9

The warm summer breeze danced across my dark, curly hair as I opened the door to the inn. I ran my hand through my hair and walked into the kitchen where one of the staircases was. The large house was quiet and somewhat dark.

_Everyone must be asleep._

I looked towards the clock above the kitchen counter and read the time.

_12:30 already? I was out with Kyle for 5 hours?_

At the thought of Kyle, I smiled. On our way to the small restaurant we had stopped by to eat at, I had learned that we actually had a lot in common. And quite honestly, I loved it.

I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and made my way up the stairs and to my room quickly. As I entered the room, I caught a small scent of the cologne Ian wore every day. It was one of my favorites, and thinking about Kyle while I should have really been thinking about Ian, made me feel a bit guilty.

I pushed the feelings aside, threw some PJs on, and made my way toward my bed.

_I'm so tired!_

I fluffed my pillow a little bit, got under the covers and put my head to the comfy pillow. I sighed as I realized how busy my day had been today, and at just how exhausted I was. As I finally made myself comfortable, I closed my eyes and thought of nothing, and within a matter of a few minutes, I fell asleep.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.

I groaned as someone knocked repeatedly on the door.

_Ugh! Go die!_

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.

I groaned again as I pushed the covers off of me and looked at the clock.

_Its only 9:45 in the fucking morning! Go away!_

I then heard a spunky, yet extremely sweet voice come from the other side of the door.

"Ashley sweetie, someone called and said they were coming to visit you today. If I were you I'd hurry up and get ready on account of wanting to look mighty dandy when that young fellow comes through the door looking for me!" Bessie said excitedly through the door.

I rolled my eyes at the sound of her annoying voice but got out of bed.

_Maybe its Kyle coming to see me!_

With that in mind, I grabbed some clothes, and jumped in the shower. 20 minutes later I had my clothes on, teeth brushed, hair done, and makeup done.

I walked out of the bathroom and out of my room, and made my way toward the kitchen.

"Bessie who the hell called you earlier telling you-" I stopped and was cut off by who I saw downstairs.

He was in his uniform. His hair was cut short, had a slight tan, and you could also tell he had gained a lot more muscle from the last time I saw him. He still looked amazing as always and as I stared at him, I remembered how much of a family resemblance we shared, and just how much I had missed him while he was gone.

"…Matt?" I said softly as I ran towards him and jumped into his arms. I held onto him tight and he laughed the strong, glorious laugh I had almost forgotten.

"Hey sis, I can tell you've missed me!" He said softly.

I let go of him and stepped back, while smiling.

"Bessie, this is my older brother Matthew." I said as I kept my eyes on him, fearing that this was all a dream, and if I looked away, he'd disappear.

"Howdy! It's a mighty fine pleasure to meet you Matthew." She said as she shyly smiled at my brother.

"The pleasure's all mine Ma'am." He said as he waited for her to put her hand out first, the same way Ian did.

Bessie smiled again as she shook his hand. "Well I guess you two have a lot of catching up to do. Why don't you two go out for a walk around the lake? I'll be right here in the kitchen if you need anything." She said as she scooted us out of the inn and into the morning sun.

I smiled as Matt took my hand while I led him to the lake. We made our way to a grassy patch and sat down.

"I can't believe how much you've grown up Ash." Matt said as he looked at me straight in the eyes.

I winced as I stared into his bright brown eyes. Brown eyes I once had, but would never have again.

I smiled. "And I can't believe you're a marine Matt." I said as I playfully stuck out my tongue at him.

He rolled his eyes. "You know it's my calling."

"Yeah I know big brother."

I smiled and he chuckled.

For the next few hours, Matt and I caught up on just about everything that we had gone threw in the past few years. He was the only one from my family that knew I wasn't dead, and I had made him swear to me he would keep it a secret. He also knew about Ian, and how we were both angels.

After it finally became too hot to sit in the sun, we both decided it was best to head back to the inn. We were only a few minutes away when Matt stopped and looked down at the ground.

I stopped and put my hand on his shoulder. "Hey, you okay?" I asked him worriedly.

He sighed. "Yeah, but I have to tell you something important…"

"What?" I asked him as panic started to set in my stomach.

"I think you should sit down for this." He said as he tried to pull me down to the ground.

I shook my head and pushed his hand away. "No I think I'm fine where I am. Now what do you have to tell me?"

He sighed again. "You're not going to like this but…"

"But what?"

"Mom found out about you and told me that she was coming!"

"…What?"


	10. Chapter 10

Heaven & Hell Go Hand in Hand like Fingernails on a Chalkboard

Chapter 10

The sheets moved around with my body as I tossed and turned in my bed. Matt's words had been sinking in for the past few hours, and had made it impossible to sleep. After he had told me about our mother, I quickly left to my room, afraid of saying something I shouldn't.

_This isn't happening. This isn't happening. This isn't happening._

I groaned at the annoyance of knowing I wouldn't be getting any sleep for the next few days.

"Ugh this sucks!"

I then heard a knock at the door. Already knowing who it was, I opened the door. There stood Matt with only his sweatpants on and a look of guilt spread all over his face.

I sighed.

"Can I come in?" He asked sheepishly.

I nodded in response.

He then came in and sat on the only made bed in the room, Ian's bed.

_God I miss him._

I made my way to my own bed and sat down on it.

Matt sighed.

"Look Ash…you have no idea how sorry I am." He said as he nervously played with his hands, one of his usual habits I always recognized.

"I don't want to hear it Matthew." I said as I rolled my eyes.

"No Ash, listen to me."

"No I don't want to hear anything! You had no right telling her!"

I could feel my blood begin to boil, and knowing the way Matt got angry, knew this conversation wasn't going to be pretty.

_The joys of family and genetics._

Matt got up from his seat on Ian's bed and made his way over to me.

"You think I wanted to tell her?" He said as he crouched down to face me.

I pushed him away and walked toward the window that showed the lake that held so many memories.

I sighed. "Well what am I supposed to think? How do you expect me to have a civil conversation with her? Especially after everything she did…"

Ian scoffed. "Do you have to be so dramatic?"

I whipped myself around to face him.

"Dramatic? Dramatic? How dare you call me dramatic? You weren't there Matt. You obviously thought playing soldier was more important than your own family!"

_Shit, where did that come from?_

Matt's eyes widened, and I knew things were about to get even uglier.

"You think I didn't care? You think I didn't worry about you guys while I was out on the field? While I was praying to God to let me live through the occurring ambush so that I could see you again?"

I scoffed. "Oh bullshit. You don't know half of what happened. What did she tell you? I bet she didn't tell you the whole story."

"She told me enough…"

I rolled my eyes again. "Oh really? Did she tell you the way things would get violent between her and John? Did she tell you the way I'd have to convince Ally to open her door so I could come inside and comfort her because she was terrified? Did she tell you how many nights I'd have to rock Ally to sleep because she was scared to sleep while I on the other hand had to cry myself to sleep every single night?"

I tried to catch my breath as my hands shook from all the emotions that were quickly coming back. The hurt, the pain, the anger, the sorrow were all magnified because of my "blessing." The magnification was useful when tearing enemies apart from the inside, but could become almost lethal to my own self when I thought about things too much.

Matt grabbed my hands tightly.

"…What?" He said shakily as he looked at me.

I swallowed the knot in my throat and stared at him in his eyes. Without even having to read him I could tell he was completely dumbfounded and full of disbelief.

"So you tell me how I'm supposed to act when she gets here tomorrow." I said as I pushed him away and walked out of the room.

The next morning I did everything as if it were a regular one. I showered, got dressed, did my makeup and hair the way I normally did. I went down to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water and walked out the back door.

After the fight with Matt, I went down to the lake to cool off, and when I got back to my room, he was gone. Of course I didn't really care, especially after everything that had been said.

I still hadn't seen him, and figured he was still asleep.

As I sat down on the warm grass I thought about Ian and what he would probably be doing right now. I smiled as I came to the conclusion that he'd either be bothering just about everyone he came into contact with and or driving everyone insane.

At around one I heard the familiar crunching of boots on grass. When the crunching finally stopped I looked up to see Matt. We didn't make eye contact, since feelings were still raw from our argument last night, but I knew she was here. He then led the way toward where she was, and after a few minutes, realized he was taking me toward Bessie's cluttered office I had seen the very first day I had arrived here with Ian. I stopped at the door and Matt took this as the perfect time to make his escape.

I sighed and walked inside. At first I didn't see her, I only saw the office. Instead of it being the cluttered, messy office I had come to know and remember, it was now spotless and organized. It wasn't until my eyes ran over Bessie's desk did I finally see her.

She sat on the side of the desk where the businessman or woman sat, leaving me the seat of the client.

She looked unchanged but different all the same, and as our eyes met, I became disgusted with myself.

For the emotion that rose within me was surprising yet comforting.

As our eyes stayed locked on each other I was filled with only two emotions.

Hate and longing.

The worst part though, was realizing which one was greater than the other.

For the first time in years, the foreign feeling of longing surpassed my hate for the woman that sat before me: my mother.


End file.
